Something New....Someday

We are working backwards moving from birth to death cycling through lives in order for us to get back to the original source we are now working in reverse our source has ventured far on the rope that lead from life to life enjoying the fruits of venture the excitement from being away from home but when you have left your bed for so long it becomes hard to remember the specifics and if you have been gone for such a long time memories degrade yet still we remember to press onward backward to the fullness the empty space in our hearts is deep and each life we go through helps fill the thirst the thirst to rejoin in communion with the original source

I can feel the Fall. The descent into matter. It is Active. I feel the stretch, the longing; the residual effects that spirit receives in turbulence. now upon the earth, i cup my hands in soil. Digging a shallow grave for a small seed to be reborn in. as the tears fall (like my body from the womb) to water the holy vessel, i recognize the miracle of resurrection. Each Seed, and Osirian Microcosm, being pushed down the Nile, then being reborn towards the sun. Begetting creation helps cushion the pain of the fall. in my recovery, the act of physical therapy softens the blow that caused this unbearable amnesia. For all my life i have sought for this cure to dance is to relieve suffering.

I have become frightened of my own existence It is as if I suddenly woke up from a dream, but that dream was my life. Eating, drinking, money, clothing seems ridiculous and redundant. aware of my own mortality, my frail skin, and blood. Knowledge that I will die one day, unanswered questions of why was I born, just to die, and where do I go? My dreams are more real than this place of awakening. The inconsistencies make more sense than the more solid, and slow changing world we live in. the maze That I find myself in…that I placed myself in, what will I do when I reach the end? I have brief memories, of an existence where I am not me, and there is none of this. It feels more like the dream state that waking life. And in this state, Fleeting, there are people who tell me that my life, is not real. And I am frightened. I am frightened that what they say is true, I go into panic when I think that there may be something so different than here. so different from what I feel like I belo...