A little something new.

...........It's easy to get drunk in the afternoon. when you don't have a job, the world is so frightening outside. there is rain on the window still, the balcony reaches out to the city, as well to my naked body, i feel nothing. this is a small town, the time is crowded. there are too many people trying to look around the discontent, that the sky reflects a different shade of blue.

............There is a glimmer from my past, but yet it finds a way to get into my present life. i now live two miles from a castle. now on the hill above, i can see my past point out at me in constant reach of the sky, in reflective sight as the ocean, becoming me to come back to the arms of my fore fathers. disillusionment eludes me, and i still see a woman in white, inside a place i have never seen before.

.............i looked back into the sky today, i looked for God. i found the clouds part and the rain fall down and the light shine through. the more hungry i am, the more appetizing the sky can look. i was a little boy when the devil spoke to me like we were best friends, like we could be the world.

.........together.

....................... there were times where i couldn't take the silence, so i called upon the unknown, always drawn to the other side. there was a man, inside of me. we would take walks together, dashing our skin to colorful scars, emotional scars. the man was so useless in my life, but i was so subjective, i was so afraid.

..................what was the name that made him go away? i remember calling on Jesus to shoulder my burden, but the entity would only laugh. jesus never came. i couldn't feel good on my own, and here i am ten years later.

.............now revisited in a way that i could always feel better, i find myself lost again. knowing that i will walk outside of this house, not my house, in thirty minutes, i still feel the same, the same as i ever did at 13.