Half Awake

I didn't realize I'd still be sad after all this time.
I guess that's just the way things are now
An entire new space in my heart has been reserved
for the sadness that we've now acquired.
I still picture you at our bedroom window
with the spring sunset light on your face
A cup of tea to your lips as you look out over the valley
and it still feels like home
feels like home
I feel slightly off balance in my emotional state
I've been stumbling around and knocking open my fear
and anxiety
I only really feel like myself when I'm alone in my room
but I still crave for touch, I crave to be held.
I remember driving down a dirty desert road
with the autumn sunset light on your face
With my hand in yours
Listening to Peter Gabriel recite The Book of Love.
We were forever locked in that moment,
I'll never let that part of my heart leave me.
I feel like half a person these days
that Ill never be understood by another the way
you understood me.
Sleeping in half a bed
in half a room
living life half awake.

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